Everyone's Favorite Old Uncle

"What I need is someone who will make me do what I can."

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

A spectacular morning out there, hot and humid. It's Florida in August, after all.

Thinking this morning about mentors, and how I find myself in that role now.

I was blessed throughout my life with a whole men's choir of them: a high school teacher who saw promise others didn't, a football coach, a commanding officer when I was a baby F-15 pilot, a professor who encouraged my brief foray into academia, a priest who taught me a little Greek and listened to my meander through discernment and seminary, a building full of wise, veteran trial lawyers who helped me find my way in this profession where I've spent the last 28+ years.

And the ones who are still around check in on me every now and again, like I'm still that young man looking for clues on this journey. I still feel that way, but the mirror suggests otherwise.

I've spent the week in Panama City taking depositions, mediating, arguing motions, and getting ready for a trial on Monday. But while I'm here I've also spent lots of time talking with young lawyers who want to think through ideas for litigating one case or another, or how to deal with bad or unethical lawyers, or the struggles of learning how to manage a business and stay ahead of the crushing volume of work most of us juggle. Yesterday evening I took a young man to supper to continue a conversation we've been having since he was in the eighth grade, twenty years ago.

I feel grossly unqualified to act as a font of advice, looking over my shoulder at the smoldering wrecks I've left behind along with the successes. At the same time, maybe the failure and disappointment makes me that much more useful--I can say I experienced a setback or disaster not unlike the one they're living now, and somehow made it to the other side. There's value in being able to say it's going to be okay, and to laugh a little at the stories about things I thought would swallow me at the time.

But mostly I just listen, taking extra care not to share anything about my own life unless it adds value to theirs. No point oversharing, and it's not about me anyway.

Instead, these conversations and relationships are all about paying forward this huge debt of gratitude I feel for the ones who were there for me. In the present atomized culture, a lonely trudge for so many young folks, there's value simply in being present and listening.

Two depositions in different cases, one requiring a drive over the bridge to PCB, while Peg's Mercedes headlight is being fixed for the third or fourth time. Tonight I'll prep for yet another deposition the next morning, and pray a little prayer that next week's trial is continued and I'll get to go back to P and the hills of western New York.